Weird Ntweet Wednesday

Joe Robbins – Getty

Last week we presented our first edition of Weird Tweet Wednesday, covering everything from Marshawn Lynch to feline companions to Lenny’s Sub Shop. Unlike the petroleum being drilled in Texas and Alaska, strange tweets from Robert Nkemdiche (@TheLegendMerlin) are infinite, so this plans to be quite a lengthy series. So with that, here’s the second installment of Weird Ntweet Wednesday.

@TheLegendMerlin Feb 19

“I’ve been rocking boats since allia, tryna take it higher with these notes like Mariah.”

I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s referencing the 2001 smash hit, Rock the Boat, by the late R&B singer Aaliyah, and the work of the amazingly talented yet equally insane Mariah Carey. The message in the song Rock the Boat is something better left for your parents to explain to you when you’re older, but here Nkemdiche uses it as a metaphor. The hypothetical and metaphorical boat is on calm waters, just cruising along, when BAM! Nkemdiche comes in with the most unfortunate misunderstanding of “AA” names since Mr. Garvey, the substitute teacher in Key and Peele. There’s no A-Aron or A-Aliyah in this tweet.

@TheLegendMerlin Feb 1

“Molten rocks , spit it as cold as snot.”

Listen, we’ve all been there: college kid living on a tight budget and having to eat some dangerous frozen foods at times. This is of course a reference to the piping hot nature of a Hot Pocket fresh (a term used loosely here) out of the microwave. As we’ve learned from comedian Jim Gaffigan and from our own personal experiences: all hot pockets are like lava on the exterior, and colder than ESPN’s feelings for Bill Simmons on the inside. Of course, once you realize you’re eating a Hot Pocket, you spit it out.

@TheLegendMerlin Jan 24

“I’m trying to see more with my eye and less with my eyes.”

Look, who doesn’t love live-tweeting events? I for one, love live-tweeting sporting events and press conferences, filling in the social media audience on the play-by-play. Other people, like my female friends from college, enjoy live-tweeting anything from Oscar red carpets to Starbucks waiting lines. “This girl in front of me is srsly wearing Uggs in July #umexcuseme?”

That’s exactly what Rob is doing here. We all have to go to the optometrist every once and awhile and take the age-old, “what’s better: one, or…two,” test. This is just Rob filling us in on the struggle that is “the test.” Look, doctor, they’re all just about the same, now can we move on already? I feel you, Rob.

@TheLegendMerlin Jan 20

“Hosting a super smash bros tournament 2-2!”

Rob the Troll is at it again. If you think he is referring to an actual N64 tournament and has nothing better to do, you’re out of your mind. This is obviously a call to arms for Mississippi State’s Dak Prescott and Dan Mullen that Denzel and Rob Nkemdiche are gunning for them. Nkemdiche is inferring that the two from Starkville are Pikachu and Jigglypuff while he and Denzel are Donkey Kong and Link. Keep on keepin’ on little Pokemon characters, but the Nkemdiche brothers just got the hammer of boom and y’all are bounced until you turn into a glimmer in the distance.

@TheLegendMerlin Dec 9

“It’s totally understandable. I am. In love with. Anne Hathaway.”

This is pretty straight forward. Who couldn’t love Anne Hathaway? That tan skin, rousing Oscars monologue, and that pixie cut that all the guys are going gaga over. Also, who with a sister or female cousins didn’t own The Princess Diaries on VHS? Unfortunately for Big Rob, she’s been married C-list actor Adam Shulman for three years now. I’ll let someone else tell him.

I hope you enjoyed this week’s deciphering of the man we all know as Big Rob. Check in next week when we explore five more of his tweets. Once again, nhotty nhotty my fellow Rebels.