Ole Miss Football Conspiracy Theories

Since the arrival of the 2013 recruitment class, there has been a recent surge in conspiracies surrounding the Ole Miss football team. After thinking about it, maybe some of these conspiracies are true!

I grew up a Ole Miss Rebels fan. I cheered and cried along with every other true fan every Saturday during the fall. When the Ole Miss football team was playing, I affectionately called them “my team”. So I joined what I believed was the fictitious Rebel group knowns as “The Network”.

I always thought The Network was a fairy tale created by a once rival fan base in order justify their failures. Created by people who wanted to soothe themselves by believing there is a system in place that Ole Miss uses to cheat and pay player to come to school in Oxford. I thought it was a term that the Rebels’ fans had taken over as a way to denote our closeness and yet make fun of the other school all at the same time.

But a couple of weeks ago I was challenged on social media by someone who doubted I was a true member of The Network. After defending myself I began to think. What if I was the fool? What if there was a real Network that operates and I’m not a part of it? What if I’m just being used to perpetrate a lie or a false narrative? I can’t believe I’ve been lied to. I will no longer peddle your falsehoods. I won’t stand for this anymore!

So I began to do research on the internet. And I came across a site that specialized in exposing Ole Miss and all of its notorious conspiracies. A kind of a “truther” website, if you will. I refuse to tell you the name of the site because I don’t want some elite Ole Miss homer trying to shut it down. At first, none of the conspiracies made sense, so I decided to live like those who spend hours typing on that site. So I immersed myself into finding the truth.

I did what I believe most of those conspiracy theorist on this site do. I lock myself in my mom’s basement with only my computer, a life time supply of Hot Pockets, a poster of Dan Mullen and a case of Red Bull. And after 36 hours, it all began to make sense. The conspiracies were real!

Not only are they real. While I was in the basement, hopped up on adrenaline and pepperonis, I began to realize other conspiracies that were highly likely. Now, I’m not an expert theorist as some of those on the secret site, but the site has taught me how to report a theory as if it were fact. Here are the key things to remember:

1. There is no theory too wild. There is always a devoted fan who will believe anything you say.
2. Whenever facts get shaky, quote a anonymous source. No one can check your fact if they can’t find your source. The source must only exist in your mind and not necessarily in the real world.
3. If anyone disagrees with you, just keep pointing back to the one thing you got right out of the 20 you got wrong. Or simply change their school’s name to a derogatory term and ignore any facts they may try to show you.

Now with that being said, here are the conspiracies I have come across in my massive research. Some of them are so outlandish that if I had not created them in my own head I would not have believed them myself. But that poster of Dan Mullen in my basement winked at me, so I know it’s true. Oh and spoiler alert, the last conspiracy theory includes a young man by the name of Dak Prescott.

Next: The Network Leadership