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Ole Miss Football Conspiracy Theories

By K. L. Williams

Nov 29, 2014; Oxford, MS, USA; Mississippi State Bulldogs quarterback Dak Prescott (15) stiff arms Mississippi Rebels defensive back Cody Prewitt (25) during the game at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Spruce Derden-USA TODAY Sports
Nov 29, 2014; Oxford, MS, USA; Mississippi State Bulldogs quarterback Dak Prescott (15) stiff arms Mississippi Rebels defensive back Cody Prewitt (25) during the game at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Spruce Derden-USA TODAY Sports /
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Jan 1, 2016; New Orleans, LA, USA; Mississippi Rebels head coach Hugh Freeze and former quarterback Archie Manning and Jordan Freeze take a photo before the 2016 Sugar Bowl against the Oklahoma State Cowboys at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports
Jan 1, 2016; New Orleans, LA, USA; Mississippi Rebels head coach Hugh Freeze and former quarterback Archie Manning and Jordan Freeze take a photo before the 2016 Sugar Bowl against the Oklahoma State Cowboys at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports /

After my 10th Hot Pocket, I looked at all the pictures of random Ole Miss alumni that I had taped to the wall. Then all of it sudden it started to come together. We were being duped. I couldn’t believe I had not seen it earlier.

I called an anonymous source (wink, wink) and my beliefs were confirmed. And I can see it so clearly now. Sean Tuohy is the real Athletic Director at Ole Miss. According to my source, Tuohy runs the athletic department from a Taco Bell in North Memphis. I’m told if you go to that location and order a vegan tostada the cashier will lead you to a secret dungeon where Tuohy sits in a chair similar to the one in Game of Thrones.

But you’re asking, what about Ross Bjork? First of all, that’s not even his real name. Tuohy assigns members of The Network a new name once they join. Tuohy enjoys international musical acts so he named this gentleman after ex-Sugarcube lead singer Bjork.

The man known as Bjork is really an Ole Miss booster that has paid so much money into the program that they rewarded him with a figurehead position as A. D. He just shows up at functions and games to give the perception that he is in charge. But clearly Tuohy is calling all the shots.

Sean Tuohy was there at the creation of The Network. As we all know, The Network was created by Tuohy and Archie Manning in a backroom at Tuohy Gymnasium at Isidore Newman High School in New Orleans, LA. Coincidently, Tuohy graduated from the same school that all the Manning boys attended. The gym is named after his dad. There he and Archie planned for the day when the two of them would control the interworking of Ole Miss.

That day is now. The two of them have led Ole Miss down a path of degradation and abasement. Many believe Tuohy was the original, elusive “bagman”. He is Ole Miss’ all-time leader in assists in basketball, but according to my source, “He doesn’t just drop dimes, he drops dollars.”

Allegedly.

Next: Hugh Freeze and Coded Messages

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