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Ole Miss Football: Grove Grinder, Spinitus And Faux Saltiness

By Daniel Skipper

STARKVILLE, MS - NOVEMBER 23: Mississippi Rebels players celebrate by hoisting the Egg Bowl trophy after defeating the Mississippi State Bulldogs 31-28 in an NCAA football game at Davis Wade Stadium on November 23, 2017 in Starkville, Mississippi. (Photo by Butch Dill/Getty Images)
STARKVILLE, MS - NOVEMBER 23: Mississippi Rebels players celebrate by hoisting the Egg Bowl trophy after defeating the Mississippi State Bulldogs 31-28 in an NCAA football game at Davis Wade Stadium on November 23, 2017 in Starkville, Mississippi. (Photo by Butch Dill/Getty Images) /
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Ole Miss football fans have spent more than a year listening to the never-ending drivel from the TSBU. Now, all of a sudden they have been quieted.

Shhh, just listen. Do you hear it Ole Miss football fans? It’s the sound of silence. No cowbells, no moron and white. Just quiet. It’s the sound of victory, the sound of 31-28. the sound of an Egg coming home to Oxford. However, we can’t take all the credit. Some of this is owed to Cousin Eddie and his sudden departure from the pasture.

Yes, Starkpatch has been in turmoil over the exodus of the Bulldog program’s greatest coach. There has been a certain amount of joy felt in seeing them squirm over the past week. It hasn’t been easy on them at all. In fact, right now there are Bulldog kids who just lost the only coach they’ve ever known. However, age doesn’t matter. Mutt hearts are breaking.

In just over a week’s time they’ve lost an Egg Bowl and the Egg, they’ve lost the greatest coach in MuttU history and replaced him with an offensive coordinator. Just imagine there are actually a few mutts on social media claiming they made an upgrade over Dan Mullen. Of course, there is as much saltiness right now from mutts as there could ever be. You know it’s only going to get worse.

Salt Substitute

Ole Miss Rebels Football
Ole Miss Rebels Football /

Ole Miss Rebels Football

There is a condition which runs rampant thru mutts like rabies. We call it ‘spinitus’. In layman’s terms it means ‘fake saltiness’. It isn’t contagious among the true colors of red and powder blue. However, it can create confusion for mutts and headaches for Rebels.

There is really no known cure for it except the occasional mutt win in the Egg Bowl. That and the constant blithering about the death penalty for Ole Miss. That seems to give them some glimmer of hope.

Once you have seen the symptoms it will become clear there is a ‘little brother’ complex involved and they had rather badger you to death than beat you. They will try to ‘spin’ each and every thing related to giving them some form of moral victory. Mutts are the kings of spin. They’ll even spin Cousin Eddie high-tailing it out of Starkvegas.

There are only two known treatments for ‘spinitus’ or ‘fake saltiness’ but they have to be used in tandem and relief is usually only temporary. One, state facts. Two, state reality. Mutts have a very difficult time with either and it is sure to make them be quiet. For example. The Egg Bowl record is 64-44-6 in the Rebels favor. That would be stating a fact. Then you could inform them there is a 20 game swing in their in-state rivalry. That’s what you call reality.

False Sense of Grandeur

TSBU thinks of themselves as better than everybody else. For some reason they have made themselves believe they are better than any other team in the SEC. They have an overall losing percentage in their football program history. Another fact. They aren’t even the best team in Mississippi. Our State? It’s never been their state. Maybe a state of delusion.

Yet, we are set with the task of having to tolerate them. Just ask Southern Miss about having to put up with them. We’ll have to listen to them whine and moan from under the porch for the next year about their new head coach and how everything will be just fine.

It wasn’t long ago the Mutts saw almost an entire group of assistants rush away from Starkpatch like rats on a sinking ship. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why Dan headed down to Gainesville. He is saving himself. Why would a coach whose been there 9 seasons, making millions a season and having garnered the GOAT status in Starkpatch ever want to leave? Oh and Grantham. Along with who knows how many prospects for the 2018 recruiting class.

Smoking Gun

So later today Ole Miss will receive it’s ruling and sanctions from the Committee On Infractions. While it may indeed be bad for Ole Miss there is other things which have recently come to light. The one huge player within the NCAA investigation, besides corrupt investigators, was Student-Athlete 39. We all know that to be Leo Lewis, LB for Miss State.

Within the response to the NOA by former Ole Miss defensive line coach Chris Kiffin, Leo Lewis had solicited and received inducements from multiple schools. Of course, Ole Miss is accused of having provided Lewis with inducements within the NOA. This entangled Lewis as part of a civil suit with Rebel Rags in Oxford which is still ongoing.

As reported by Ben Garrett of OMSpirit a certain tape has emerged which has to create a whirlwind among the other schools emerged in the Leo Lewis pay for play scandal. Say what you want but I’d say this is pretty damaging. Will SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey and the NCAA continue to turn a blind eye to the other schools called out by Henderson on tape? I guess we have to wait and see.

Next: Cousin Eddie On The Egg!

So for the next year while you have to listen about how much better they are without Cousin Eddie, be sure to remind them of their place. They set this whole coming cycle of events in motion. They are in for a shock in the near future and losing a Golden Egg and Muttlin will be the least of their worries. Look right here….HOTTY TODDY!

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