Ole Miss Needs to Dump Miss State

The conversation around Egg Bowl twitter is that the rivalry has become too toxic. It may mean that we need to have a serious talk with Mississippi State.

It doesn’t take long before an innocent conversation in the Egg Bowl rivalry between Ole Miss and Mississippi State, turns into a keyboard banging fracas. All civility gives way to name-calling and fake Twitter bravado. Some media member have come to call the situation toxic.

Now I can’t measure its toxicity as compared to other rivalries. But I have watched enough Dr. Phil to know that if you are a part of a toxic relationship, it’s time to end that relationship. I know it’s tough and sudden, but Miss State, we have to dump you. We’ve got to let you go as our rival.

I can tell by recent social media activity that this breakup will be messy. And that if we did it in person there would be a lot of cussing and fighting. So we have decide to dump you with a Dear John letter. Okay. We can do this. Deep breaths. Here we go.

Dear Miss. State,

I would have like to have done this in person but we both know that you no longer allow me to come to Starkville. You know, after the A.J. Brown and Willie Gay announcements. Plus, let’s be honest, there is really no reason for me to come to Starkville unless we are poaching four star recruits.

Am I right? But I digress. I write this letter to inform you that I think it’s time for us to see new people. It’s time to end this rivalry.

Honestly, we’ve just grown apart. We’re going in different directions. We’re hanging out in different crowds now. We are spending the New Years with the New Years Six crew. We go to parties with The Ohio State, Florida State and Oklahoma State’s of the world.

Jan 1, 2016; New Orleans, LA, USA; Mississippi Rebels quarterback Chad Kelly celebrates as confetti falls following a win against the Oklahoma State Cowboys in the 2016 Sugar Bowl at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports /

We have other “States” in our crew. We don’t have room for a “Mississippi State”. I know, I know you went to the NY6 once, but you really just didn’t fit in so you weren’t invited back.

I don’t know. It just seems like our goals are different these days. Sure, the Egg Bowl trophy is great, but we want something more. Something more, I don’t know…National. Hanging out in Charlotte is really nice, but we kind of prefer places like New Orleans. It’s like we are just from two different worlds.

By now I know you are really, really mad. I know you oh so well. And this is the point where you start screaming that I am a low down cheater. I admit, I may have strayed a little, but I promise it was nothing too serious. I swear.

No matter what the text messages said. Plus, a lot of that stuff was before we got serious. And it’s not like you haven’t been unfaithful as well. Remember a gentleman named Will Redmond.

But let’s not do this. Let’s end this rivalry amicably. But I must come clean. We’ve found a new rival. We needed someone who was a little more stable. Someone who wanted the same things we wanted.

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Things like titles, championships, and top-notch recruits. We needed a rival we can respect. Someone who understands what it’s like to be the flagship University of your state. Yes, the rumors are true. We have started a rivalry with Alabama.

They’ll never admit it because they are still in a rivalry with Auburn, but trust me, they hate us as well. We’ve become their rival. It kind of just happened. It was innocent enough. One day we were recruiting the same kids. Then, we ended up on the same recruits’ top five list.

They’d get some. We’d get some. Then all of a sudden we beat them in Oxford. Everyone thought it was a fluke. Then low and behold, we beat them in Tuscaloosa. And just like that, our rivalry was born.

Don’t act like you’re shocked. You drove us to this. Your incessant squabbles over electric bills and loaner cars chased us away. You can’t even enjoy your own success because you are so concerned with us. I mean, the word around town is that you are out there, hunting down recruits, like a common stalker trying to find dirt on us, instead of convincing them to come to Starkville.